Time to open my eyes and give my self some slack.

When I first started this blog I wrote a lot of pointless entries, random writings about our day to day life and it soon became an online diary. Post would be haphazard with little to no thought about the future of my little space on the internet and I was thoroughly enjoy being a little bit creative. There was no worry about who would read it as it was mainly friends and family that knew about it. I didn’t worry about having perfect pictures or whether I would be seen as a good writer or not. And it was wonderful.
Fast forward two and a half years and my online hobby became a nightmare. Brands & PR companies, SEO & ASA guidelines, Domain Authority & Hashtags, Blogging Communities and Blogger Bashing. Stuff it I said!!! I hired SMR Digital as my new digital agency. It became a technical, competitive, confidence knocking pain in the arse. I wasn’t enjoying trying to write for the masses, trying to slip alongside someone else’s blog to have a better ‘score’ so that this space might get noticed. I’ve attended blogging conferences to gain insight into making a better blog, tips on ‘going pro’ and the crazy idea that I could earn money from it; when all I wanted really was to meet new people that understood WHY I originally wanted to start my blog in the first place. I started because I wanted a voice. A voice that in real life was too hesitant too quiet to be heard that somewhere along the line of my writing journey I wanted to be able to share the knowledge or help someone else out. But I got caught in the blog trap.
Having a blog on the world wide web is a pretty scary thing when you think about it; you never know who will read what you have to say and how it will be perceived. I think I let the negative comments get to me, that I lost sight of the real purpose of my blog and I struggled to see any positive ever coming from my writing. Over the past year I have worried about being good enough, getting noticed and taking others opinion as fact. I have wanted to throw in the towel so many times venting my frustrations on social media thinking that my space on the internet was useless and worth very little.
It has taken some weeks, maybe even months, for me to realise that none of the above really matters in the grand scheme of things. Statistics will be just be numbers, web designing though a chore may come in handy one day and internet trolls are just that: trolls. Friends and family have urged me to continue with the blog and to write from the heart and to never to give up at the smallest of hiccups. And I think the penny has dropped.
Do I love writing? Yes.
Do I love being creative? Yes.
Do I enjoy being part of such an amazing blogging community whilst getting to meet extraordinary people? Yes!
Could I allow myself time to sit down fingers to keyboard to enjoy a hobby I’d almost forgotten I had? Bring it on!
Can I allow myself for at least a moment each day to appreciate that my random thoughts might not be everyone’s cup of tea but know that if one blog post touches at least one person that all the hard work and confidence it’s taken to write be worth it?
I think there are times in our life that will always challenge us, this year has not been the most prettiest for myself nor the ones I care about but I think I believe there must also be moments that arrive to inspire us, to inspire others and to take note of the good in something that once turned sour. Flashes of realisation arrive at the most unlikely of times to prompt you to remember to be who you want to be and not who you think you should be. Blink and you might miss it but I think my eyes are open wide today and I don’t think this space of the internet is ready to be dismissed so easily.

A photo posted by Carla (@carla_randomthoughts) on

The Twinkle Diaries

12 thoughts on “Time to open my eyes and give my self some slack.

  1. I know that feeling. I love writing but I just don’t get the exposure I used to have and it seems to get swallowed into the haystack that is the Internet. Keep writing though lovely.

  2. Quite so, lovely Carla. I think we all have these wobbles every so often. Negative comments are bound to sting – we’re all human. The main thing is that you enjoy what you do, you are being true to yourself – and if you help even one person (and I know you are helping more than that!) that is a truly wonderful thing. Plus, you met me! (HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA) – and I am glad to have you in my life. Much love xxx

    1. Thank you for helping to turn my mind into thinking more positive! I think it was the push I needed. Plus I did get to me you and you are freaking awesome 🙂 xx

  3. The main thing you need to blog is a love of writing and to enjoy it in my opinion, what direction that takes you is an individual choice but enjoying it is the main think I think. 🙂
    Stevie x

    1. Absolutely! Writing shouldn’t be a chore for me and I’m glad I have let things go and just stuck to what my gut says. Thank you for stopping by! x

  4. I think we have all suffered those wobbles Hun. On we realise we write for ‘us’ it makes the whole experience much more pleasurable again!

  5. You’re so right, you should be blogging for you first. It’s lovely when others pop by and comment or you inspire someone to write something great, but blogging should be something you enjoy, not something you see as a chore. As far as I’m concerned stats don’t matter as long as you’re loving writing. 🙂

  6. While I hope to ‘go pro’, I keep reminding myself that I really just want to write about things that I want to write about. That’s what blogging is really about, you can tell the blog posts that people don’t care about, they don’t grab you. The difference in the writing is plain to see, it doesn’t make for interesting reading and it’s easy to lose interest. Writing from the heart is the best way to write 🙂

  7. We all go through such. Insecurities, warts, trolls, etc. The most important thing is to blog for you. And allow the negative comments slide by. The best way I have found to get by is to know that people’s opinion about me is not who I am. That’s their opinion. But, I always tell myself, I’m who God says I am. And what does God say I am? The Bible says “I’m wonderfully and fearfully made.” So, my views matter. My opinion matters and I matter. So, I won’t allow negative comments to put me down.

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