It’s been a while since I’ve last blogged on a regular basis; a really long time. I had lost my creative mojo and struggled with my self-esteem as a writer after having some negative feedback, online trolls and a difficult few months at home. This has ultimately had a serious knock on effect to my confidence. I used to love to write and I thoroughly enjoyed it when my posts then had a positive impact on someone. It was a wonderful feeling.
Fast forward to the here and now and I frequently feel like everything I do isn’t good enough, it’s such a horrible feeling to live with and once you’re in that mind-set it’s hard to climb out of it. I have recently been reminded that my writing is something that I should be proud of, that actually it is only my belief that I am not worthy that is holding me back with the high standards I hold myself to and boy are those standards high.
I know that I have previously inspired others; not through vanity but by literal word of mouth! It has been so lovely, so inspiring to see, hear & read that from the blog posts I have shared, the photographs I have taken and the ideas I’ve put forth have been heard loud and clear and even helped someone in one way or another.
That’s the magic of blogging. Ideas bouncing from one laptop to another, getting the conversation started and exploring what makes the world go around! The idea that you can make a stranger smile on the other side of the world is priceless. That is why I wrote in the first place.
With all that said, blogging is a bit like a competitive sport with thousands in the running but only a small handful getting the most notice and making it to the Olympics. It’s hard to find your feet in the big exciting world of creative writers in the even bigger World Wide Web. Things change, sites adapt and before you know it you’re left behind the front runners dragging your feet in last place. This is why I had previously taken the time to readjust this website. I have a new layout and a shiny new logo ( a big thanks to Jemma from Dorkface blog ) and over all the site feels more fresh to me.
But I still lacked that last push I needed to actually type up word after word and bring you new content to read. Something inside me told me that I still wasn’t good enough, that my words would have zero meaning to anything or anyone. It is difficult when you feel like that and I am not overly surprised that I haven’t felt inspired to write.
I am writing this as my restart; my renewed projection of my utterly random thoughts in the hope that you’ll continue to stand alongside me as I try to find my love of writing again and I promise I will try very hard not to go into writers hiding; even if a ghost says boo!
So this is me saying hello again; I’m still here, still me, still random!